Beach Villa - 1 bedroom

Checked in at 3pm at Equarius Hotel . The Buggy Service staff brings us to our villa.

& introduce us everything in the room.

The  villa have a large outdoor terrace each with a private deck that extends to a free form pool. Deckchairs half submerged into the water on your private deck allows you to soak up the sun while the water laps at your feet.

Super in love with the beach villa, But during our night stay, there are many insects. Which make us have to use all the pest control the villa provide us. I rate this staycation 9.5/10. But 1 night cost us $1.2k

米修米修

恩，妈咪很想你。我也很多话要跟你诉苦。

I never trust marriage, i never trust guys. It is till i found out that i have you, then i got married. I didnt want you at first. Cause you came too fast, perhaps at a wrong timing. i'm always living in doubts and being insecure. But as time goes by, i felt more & more excited about your arrival, preparing and buying your stuffs. But.. ..

Since the day you left, i felt so tired everyday. Dragging myself to go on. 我真的不懂要如何走下去。I felt more insecure, cause i dont know when your dad will leave me, when your dad will get tired of me or more. He been trying to give me all the 肯定 but it doesnt even make me feel secure. Perhaps of my past & his past.

恩，托梦给妈妈好吗？至少让我知道你过得好。至少让我梦到你的样子。妈妈真的放不下你。

14 days Since you are gone.

whenever i see a baby, i feel like crying. 恩，Why do you have to leave us? Whenever I open your chest of drawer, how I wish you are here to wear those clothes and use those stuffs. I never wanted to give away or sell away those things, although it wasnt up to any use Cause it is for u.

I feel so tired. I'm kinda lazy to hold on anymore.
I miss you.

almost dead

Gynae appt yesterday, stitches remove and was asked to check on my respiratory. As I m feeling breathless at night that I hardly can lie down n sleep.

Went to the respiratory clinic, the Dr says I have low oxygen and need to be admitted to icu straight. There goes my day. She gave me oxygen tank, medicine and jab and pushed me to icu. Was back to the same icu ward As per last week. With the same nurse going to look after me.

Was scheduled to do lung xray,heart ultrasound and leg ultrasound. With 2 drips on different hand and 6 bottles of blood count test on my Both arms.  I felt immused to all the needles poking Since last week.

I don't know what the final results of everything, But was told that my heart is very weak and I have water in my lungs. Was told to avoid carry heavy things . & best not go give birth anymore. My heart sank. As I know hubby would like to have kids of his own. Hais. Till today, I was not able to transfer to normal Ward. I'm bored n going crazy. I looked more like a dead, lying there doing nth.

Hubby was left alone facing all this again. I felt that I'm really a burden. & within such a short while, so many things have happen. I don't know how long can He take it before breaking down. I don't know how long more must he suffered. He never once left me. I really don't know where to find a guy like him in this world. But why is God torturing us. By giving me a nice guy and torturing me with my health.

Icu was so cold for him and yet He never left me alone at night. I'm still throwing my tantrum on him due to not being transferred out of icu. Yet, He bare everything just for me. How can I not loved him. I'm really so worried about his health n him breaking down Cause of me. Cause He never been thru all this shit.

It been long since i tell him this,
老公，我爱你。谢谢你做的这一切。谢谢你的不离不弃。对不起，为了我，你需要经过这些。辛苦你了。

好累，好疲倦

心好烦，好累，好疲倦。佳恩，你在哪？过的好吗？ 为何要丢下妈妈？为何不要带妈妈一起走。我到底做错了什么，为何要承受这样的痛苦和创伤。为何要让你爸爸承受负担？你爸爸也很累，很难过。他还必须照顾妈妈，帮妈妈冲凉。

I feel like a burden. 带我走吧!